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2 thoughts on “MAKING AMENDS, ASKING FORGIVENESS, AND LOSING YOUR GUILT: PART ONE”

  1. I’m having a really hard time lately, in considering amends. Sins from my past have been coming to my mind, and in almost all instances, I’ve been able to contact the person(s), own up to what I did, and apologize. And, in these cases, they gave me great grace. But there is one sin from almost 40 years ago that dogs me. I realize now that the shame of what I did, the trust I betrayed, is so serious, yet the person(s) I sinned against does not, most likely, know that I sinned against them. I’m wondering what your thoughts are on dealing with such a past sin. How can a person make amends when a direct confession might cause more harm? Please pray for me.

    1. Dathan Paterno

      I can understand your distress when recalling old sins and betrayals, especially when they have been hidden for so long. Sometimes reconciliation is a proactive interactive process; but sometimes that is impossible, or at least unwise. As you mentioned, a direct confession might indeed break open certain wounds or create new wounds; this can be more harmful than helpful. In the end, the reconciliation that must occur might be between you and God. I understand that every faith has its view of forgiveness and reconciliation, but in my faith, forgiveness and grace are always available, always complete, and always undeserved (grace, by definition, is undeserved). Perhaps you can reconsider the person to whom you need to confess and become confident that confession can result in a wiping clean of your shame. Blessings.

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