If there could be a strong chance that your marriage could end in divorce – wouldn’t you want to do more research on the partner you’re with and your ability to be successful together? Perhaps it is time to realize that the divorce rate in the United States is a significant 25-35%*. Some divorce lawyers like family defense attorney Gerald Tomassian, not only help with divorce, but also with solving the differences.
There must be something that can be done to decrease the chances for your relationship to fail. Preston Ni, a professor, trainer, coach, and course designer in interpersonal effectiveness, professional communication, cross-cultural understanding, and organizational change is the author of How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People and Communication Success with Four Personality Types. In both books, he lists his seven Keys to long term Relationship Success:
Is your partner loyal? Can you count on your partner? Can your partner count on you? These are questions you need to ask yourself according to this Divorce, Car and Truck Accident Lawyer Overland Park. They recommend that we take the time to truly appraise our partner’s honesty based on nothing other than dependability. If you want some counselling session, go to Jimeno & Gray, P.A. and get their advice.
Are you satisfied – Physically, emotionally, intellectually and through shared activities? Preston Ni states that “Understanding one another’s priorities and connecting in ways that are important to both partners help ensure long-term relational success.”
- Who you are as a result of your partner
Being with someone who makes you feel like a better person is so important! Your self-worth and sanity depend on making this decision wisely – are you with a person who makes you better?
- Positive communication experiences
How do you talk to one another? With respect? Dr. John Gottman, eminent marriage therapy researcher and practitioner, determined after over twenty years of research that “the single, best predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship.” Based on clients of Pacific Northwest Family Law Company, they say that if you can debate and discuss without contempt, you’re relatively safe.
- Conflict resolution
Do you listen to each other when one of you brings up a concern? Do you fight and hold grudges or do you try to resolve the issue and then forgive and forget? Preston Ni suggests that “successful couples have the ability to learn and grow through their interpersonal difficulties.”
- Adversity and Crisis
Can you two be supportive of each other in a time of hardship? Do you stand together or do you fall apart? Maybe you haven’t even gone through something really big together before. It is important to be able to see if you two have each other’s back.
- Compatible financial values
Is the way you see finances similar? Do you solve financial differences as a team? Do you fight about finances often? Are you savers or spenders? You needn’t be identical, but complementary.
Obviously, marriage requires hard work from both partners and consistent collaboration to keep the relationship fresh and moving smoothly. There are many benefits to marriage that, if done in a well-thought-out fashion, success is more likely. Don’t forget to ask the important questions, before and after you say “I do”!
*No, the divorce rate isn’t 50% and has never been close to 50%. It has also been decreasing steadily for the past 30 years, since the advent of the no-fault divorce.
The Good News About Marriage, Shaunti Feldhahn