Can you spot a bad relationship – especially when you are in it? That is a difficult task, partly because relationships can blind us to our own reality. There are many reasons we don’t recognize when we are in a relationship that is wrong for us. There are also many reasons we choose to stay in these wrong relationships and justify the wrong characteristics as we carry on. No one wants to accept the fact that one’s partner, who they may or may not love, is bad for them; at least not at first.
Bad relationships wreak havoc on your emotional and mental well-being. They can make you question your self-worth, even destroy your self-esteem. Depression is not uncommon for those who chose to remain in unhealthy relationships, regardless of the rational.
Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University, San Bernardin, and author of What Makes You Tick, identifies three warning signs that are solid evidence that you are in a bad relationship:
You do not have personal freedom. Relationships are not supposed to be controlling. A healthy relationship is a partnership, where both partners have the right to make their own decisions about how they dress, which friends they spend time with, how they occupy their free time, etc. Trust is a key component of any healthy relationship; without trust there cannot be freedom.
Your 80/20 ratio is off: Be careful to notice how your relationship feels overall. A healthy relationship is where you experience positivity about 80% of the time and experience negativity 20% of the time. If the positive and negative ratio in your relationship tips more toward the negative, it’s time to take a closer look at your relationship.
You wish you were home alone: It’s OK to want personal time away from your partner; however, when you consistently wish your partner wasn’t around, it is a definite red flag. If you cannot wait to finally be alone, your relationship may have become a bad one for you.
Do not be bamboozled by the vain hope that something will change; naivety can keep you in the wrong relationship. You deserve better; if you are not happy, nothing will change unless you change it. We all want to be loved, treated equally and given respect. No one should spend their time being miserable and trapped behind bars of a bad relationship.
For more information: