Month: December 2017

The More You Compare, the Lower Your Despair

Our morning routines and habits are all too familiar and similar: you wake up, check your phone – primarily to scroll through Facebook or another social media account before you get out of bed. So at the very start of your day, you have already triggered the process of comparing yourself to everyone you know – and how much they are doing in contrast to you. You then nag yourself with thoughts of what you may be missing or lacking, often throughout the rest of the day.

Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and author of The Search for Fulfillment, explains that many people experience the phenomena known as “FOMO,” or Fear of Missing Out. You see your friends and family having fun or at some type of event while you are at home left off the invitation list.

Anxiety, worry, and excessive sense of insecurity about yourself will encourage you to depress yourself, especially if you repeat this sad process on a daily basis. Maintaining motivation is so important to be able to have a positive attitude. If you are pessimistically looking at your life because you believe that everyone around you is living and doing better than you, it is not much of a stimulant to get yourself motivated.

What is particularly important is that some children and adolescents are more prone to depressive symptoms in response to social media and social comparisons. Dr. Krauss cites the American Academy of Pediatrics’ warning that “Facebook could trigger depression in children and adolescents, populations that are particularly sensitive to social rejection.” Parents, your children’s (including your teens) usage of technology should be monitored and appropriate curfew should be established and maintained, regardless of what anyone else is allowing their child to do.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, realize that you are actually an agent of change and you can make your life happier, if you wanted to. Accept where you are now. Have compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself for the choices you made or the opportunities you missed, which is a universal experience. Envy will never help you become a happier or more adjusted individual.

For more information:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201710/is-facebook-making-you-depressed

 

The BEST way to bring about changes in your life in 6 Steps.

Unhappiness is a normal phenomenon in life. However, unhappiness combined with hopelessness can breed depression. The good news is that unhappiness need not be permanent. You have the power to change your life if you are not happy. Joy is attainable; all you need is the steps to guide you there. Personal development is something anyone can take charge of and be in control of change. Every day provides a new beginning, a new opportunity to take life in a direction you have only been dreaming of.

 

  1. Stop procrastinating: no more excuses. Start today, start right now. Tomorrow will bring more excuses, more barriers to a happier you.
  2. Break up your goals into actions: Any personal development change can appear challenging. So break it down into manageable tasks that with smaller goals you can complete.
  3. Learn from others: Read books, articles, listen to other people’s stories on how they accomplished what they did. You do not have to do this alone; others have done it and are willing to share the secrets.
  4. Accepts your faults: Stop blaming others starting now. No more excuses!
  5. Visualize yourself: Where do you want to be in the future? Picture it, embrace it, and go after it!
  6. Follow your passion: No one can live your life for you, so why not do it to the best of your ability? Do things that you love, that you are passionate about, and do not listen to the negativity of others.

Andy Puddicombe is a Meditation Consultant and a former Buddhist monk is also the co-founder of the social enterprise Headspace and author of Get Some Headspace. He explains that “Growth by nature is an evolving process. It is not something static that we can ‘master’ once and for all… Life is constantly changing, constantly evolving, and so we need to learn how to ‘witness’ this change, to move skillfully with it, rather be ‘subject’ to the roller-coaster ride that change can sometimes bring about.”

Do not let life randomly direct what changes you make. Making changes to be the best you that you can be is a lifelong process, a lifestyle. Be in control and never give up. Do not let anyone stop you from obtaining your goal. Realize the only one in your way is you and it’s time to take some responsibility for your future. Be a happier you!

For more information:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-some-headspace/201309/personal-growth

 

Why is my Teen Depressed?

It’s a difficult time to be a teenager or young adult. Forced into multiple adult decisions, many critical, all in a short window, while the brain remains immature. Adolescents are just beginning to discover themselves: who they are, what/who they like, and what/who they don’t like. Peer approval and acceptance becomes the prime directive; anything that gets in the way becomes a severe allergen or enemy. Because this period is stacked with stress and because the stakes seem so high, all teens are at risk for depression.

As tempting as it is, we cannot blame depression on Facebook and other social media channels. Parents must take some responsibility for the levels of depression and anxiety current teens and young adults experience. We all know it’s not easy being a teen or young adult, but it is easier if you develop the skills to pass through this stressful phase relatively unscathed.

To the average American, teen life looks very different. “Today’s teens and young adults learn that life should be incredibly easy and bring amazing success with no stress”, writes Dr. Jeffery Smith, psychiatrist, and author. Coping skills are essential for abiding, quality mental health.

Resilience and acceptance are both learned, since no one is born with these traits. Parents are the primary teachers, and in this technological era, the focus of what we teach our kids must shift appropriately. Dr. Smith explains that parents must learn when not to rescue their kids and let them figure things out, or, often enough, not figure things out. Letting them critically think for themselves will show them that not everything is tranquil or attainable (at least not right away) and that the drudgery of hard work and tough times may be needed to obtain dreams or goals.

It might be easy to spot youth who have a weak support system at home. Those who worry more than they should, stress out, and burn out early into the school year. The teens who are quickly overwhelmed and discouraged. These are the at-risk youth whose parents did not prepare them with the tools necessary to navigate successfully through the murky waters of adolescence. Do not be the parent that lets depression creep up on your kids.

 

For more information:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/healing-and-growing/201710/the-real-reason-behind-teen-anxiety-and-depression